


Nothing To Fear With You Next To Me

by katychan666



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Season 3 Episode 4 - Thy Soul Instructed, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-21 12:12:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14284683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katychan666/pseuds/katychan666
Summary: Things are too much for Alec; the demon on the loose, Jace, the Mundane victims piling up... Luckily there's Magnus to take his worries and pain away.





	Nothing To Fear With You Next To Me

Alec was standing alone by the window, looking out, long after Magnus decided to leave him to have some space and time for himself, because it looked like his boyfriend needed that. Magnus respected that, but he kept his eyes on Alec as he was in the kitchen preparing a hot meal for Alec. He could easily conjure something up, but he wanted to make it on his own. It was more meaningful and maybe he hoped that that way, Alec wouldn't be able to say no to him. It was killing the warlock to see Alec in such a bad place. He knew how hard all of it had to be for the young Shadowhunter, his _parabatai_ acting out of character, fearing for the worst and with the Owl killing Mundanes, and all that paired up with being the Head of the Instititue… God.

Magnus peaked inside of his living room and let out a sigh when he saw that Alec didn’t move at all. Alec was nervous as hell, trying to tell himself that Magnus was right; everything will be okay. One step at a time and they would be able to help both Morgan and Jace. He was chewing on his lower lip, twisting his fingers nervously and he let out a ragged breath as he blinked and bowed his head down. He wanted to save Morgan; there were enough victims this past few weeks; he needed to put an end to it. So many innocent people being killed on _his_ watch and so far, he had nothing. No lead, no nothing. Maybe the whispers he heard on the Institute’s hallways were right; maybe he was really a failure being in charge.

And then there was Jace, Alec’s stomach twisting in guilt and he buried his face into his palms and let out a little sigh. For the first time in his entire life, he didn’t know what was going on with Jace. He was trying to help him, but he didn’t know how. He felt so lost and helpless. _Parabatai_ was his everything and yet, there he was, doing nothing to help him. Alec looked outside again and folded his arms on top of his chest. He knew that Jace and Clary were hiding something from him. His rune was gone that day, Jace had died. Alec wasn’t stupid, he felt their bond being broken for a while. It came back, yes, but it felt… different. Not the same. He still felt Jace, just somehow, the other seemed not him. Distant. Almost a stranger.

Alec clenched his jaw and took in a deep breath, seeing Magnus’ reflection in the mirror coming closer to him and he slowly turned around to the warlock, that time being able to smell the food and his empty stomach made a sound, Magnus giving him a little grin, trying to cheer up his boyfriend. “So, you are hungry after all,” said Magnus, Alec shrugging and he was half tempted to throw himself back into reading the books, but Magnus stopped him by taking his hand. “No, you’ve exhausted yourself enough for today. You need to give it a rest, like I said, I’ll help you,” said Magnus. “Now you need to eat something, Alexander.”

“I don’t have time for that,” said Alec and twisted his fingers again, popping his knuckles and Magnus’ eyes travelled down, then back up again. “If I can’t help Jace, then at least I can help Morgan. I need to save _someone_ I can’t be this useless,” said Alec and cursed under his breath when he felt his voice shaking again. “Thank you, but I think I’ll pass dinner.”

“That wasn’t a question, you’re getting some food into you. Period,” said Magnus, soft, but his voice sounded more strict. “I’ve prepared us a lovely dinner, which I cooked on my own, so don’t you dare to ignore me,” said the warlock. “And Alexander, you aren’t useless. You’ve just reached dead end, so? It’s not wrong to ask for help, which I offered free of charge before,” said Magnus and chuckled softly, placing his hand on top of Alec’s shoulder, holding him gently and Alec looked down, but then slowly nodded and allowed Magnus to take him to the dining area.

The food that Magnus prepared was delicious, of course, but Alec ate it fast, not really paying attention to the flavour, as his mind was still preoccupied with both the demon on the loose and Jace. The gloomy expression on Alec’s face made Magnus’ worry reappear and he chewed on his lower lip. “Is the food bad?” he asked, trying to cheer up Alec again.

“No, of course not. It’s lovely,” said Alec and looked back down, eyeing his now empty plate and his heart shrunk again and he dug his fingers into his legs. “Thank you for the meal,” he said, putting a more cheerful expression and Magnus nodded, saying that it wasn’t a big deal. He watched Alec excuse himself from the table and Magnus sighed, but said nothing as Alec went back to the living room and started reading the books again, cursing in the process as he couldn’t find anything helpful about the current case.

It didn’t take too long for Magnus to join Alec in the living room and he pressed his lips together. “Alexander,” he whispered, took the book from Alec’s hands and then kneeled down next to him, lifting himself up on his knees, so that he was closer to Alec and he gently cupped his boyfriend’s face. “Give it a rest,” he tried again and Alec only shrugged. “Everything will be okay. With Morgan, with the Owl and with Jace,” said Magnus and Alec chewed on his lower lip, but nuzzled into the touch, the warmth of Magnus’ palm soothing him down.

“Maybe,” said Alec. “I have faith that we’ll find the Owl, it can’t be that big of a mystery, but… Jace…” stammered Alec and looked down again, Magnus’ heart sinking as well. “He and Clary are hiding something from me. I know it, I know when Jace lies to me and he’s lying this time. That night on Lake Lyn, he _died_ and then he was brought back to life… I’m sure of that,” said Alec and Magnus stiffened. Bringing people back from the dead wasn’t impossible, but it was very dangerous. “But they lie about it. They keep things from me and I just… can’t-”

“Alexander,” said Magnus and realised that it wasn’t only the fact that Alec couldn’t help his _parabatai_ that was bothering him. He felt hurt and betrayed that Jace hid something from him. “Jace… is Jace,” said Magnus. “He probably doesn’t want to tell you, because he doesn’t want to make you worry,” said the warlock and couldn’t believe that he was in a way defending Jace’s actions. Well, in honestly, he was saying that just to cheer Alec up. He despised Jace for lying.

“But not telling makes this even worse on me. I-”

“I know, angel, I know how it feels. But he’s convinced himself that he can’t share his secret with anyone,” said Magnus.

“He can with Clary,” said Alec and looked down. “Maybe-maybe I’m a bad _parabatai_ too if he can’t trust me. I know that I’m not good as a Head of the Institute, but that means nothing in comparison to-”

“Hey, that’s not true,” said Magnus and looked down, seeing that Alec was twisting his fingers again. He placed his hand on top of Alec’s and lowered himself down, sitting on top of his heels and he looked up at Alec’s troubled face. “You’re the best, most amazing, stunning Head this Institute ever had,” said Magnus and Alec managed to smile just a little bit. “Don’t doubt in yourself, because you’re truly amazing. And the thing about Jace… it’s not your fault. He’ll come around, you’ll see.”

“I sure hope so,” said Alec, his voice an octave lower and Magnus’ eyes widened when Alec’s shaking fingers gripped onto his. Alec was looking for comfort in him and Magnus was there to give it to him. “I… I just hope it won’t be too late before… because if something happens to Jace and I’m not there to help, I’ll never forgive myself…” said Alec and Magnus was almost sure Alec was fighting back the tears.

“It’ll be okay. And I’ll be there for you with every step of the way,” said Magnus and lifted himself back up, wrapping his arms around Alec, pulling him into a tight hug and Alec let out a loud gasp, but wrapped his own arms around Magnus and tucked his face into Magnus’ shoulder. “Shh, you’re okay now,” said Magnus and buried his fingers into Alec’s hair.

“Safe in your arms. There isn’t a place I rather be at right now,” muttered the hunter and Magnus’ heart almost melted at that. “Thank you,” he muttered and Magnus chewed on his lower lip.

“Don’t… thank me. I love you, Alexander, my arms are always open and welcome for you,” said Magnus and grinned. He smiled when Alec held onto him tighter and he slowly closed his eyes, Alec doing the same and they stood like that for a little while. Magnus’ hugs were magical, they always made Alec’s pain go away, the Shadowhunter feeling a lot better after that.

It was at that exact moment, when Magnus held him in the hug that Alec came to the realisation that no matter how hard things got, he’s always going to be okay. As long as Magnus was there, he had nothing to fear.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Comments and opinions are well appreciated =)  
> Come visit me on [Tumblr](http://katychan666.tumblr.com/) :)


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